Unwavering optimist
Most of my friends and family members describe me as an unwavering optimist. Five years ago, while I was preparing for IIT JEE, I had a severe problem related to mental health, “ Serious migraine with a regular headache supplemented with mild depression and anxiety may be arising from lack of ability to perform well in tests.” I was unable to study constantly for one hour. I have to break after half an hour when the pain becomes unbearable.
All those days, I remembered one line “ For the cruelest of time bring out the warrior from within.” My family, having a farming occupation, had supported me way beyond their capability. But all credit goes to IMS BHU and their incredible health facility, because of which I won the war within one and half years and ended up with IIT Roorkee.
Everyone struggles in their sphere. Everyone has his own story. I am not going into detail about how my body was feeling because the story is not, but takeaways and teachings are important. This experience made me question- are human endeavors limitless? I was the state topper of the board exam. I was a 1st rank holder of all coaching entrance exams I had given, yet when it was my actual turn to perform, my own body turned against me. The feeling of powerlessness over your own body just cannot be described.
My lesson from my experience was that our efforts could only help us to a certain extent in realizing our goals. The rest depends on the right timing and the right circumstances- which by large we cannot control. While estimating our capabilities, one must never forget how small we are in the cosmic order of the universe. Our insignificance compared to the rest of the universe inherently limits our endeavors. And in these circumstances, being optimistic always helps.
Sometimes it was too quick to judge. Someone is not doing well in life? It must be because they did not work hard enough. They must have made the wrong choice. Unless someone’s disadvantage and lack of privilege was starkly visible, at times, I failed to see that there may be other factors at play which the unlucky person could not control. I may had got a significantly lower rank, near 4000, but my experience has made me wiser. It takes compassion to understand the position of another. Compassion allows us not to be quick to pass judgment and instead look beyond what we can see.
Compassion is best defined as the understanding and concern for the misfortune of others. It was compassion that I could befriend the kindest and most beautiful personalities of the campus. I always used to say to papa,” मुझे दुनिया के सबसे अच्छे लोग दोस्त रूप में मिले है ”
There was nearby village Belda, where our friends' group used to go on the weekend to teach children. There I learned that If compassion is overdone, it can be quick to turn to pity and sympathy. I'm not too fond of sympathy. And if my experience is anything to go by, most people do not like to be seen with pity. In being compassionate, one must empower the other by empathizing and spreading positivity. Compassion should not become a means of belittling the other person by expressing concern that comes across as borderline mocking. If done right, compassion can show the other the hope that someone understands, and even give them to strength to fight their battles with fiercer valor.
If you are reading this, here is my request: the next time you see someone who is battling misfortune, empathize and put yourself in their shoes before passing judgment. It may work wonders. That's all from the unwavering optimist
